We Agreed It Would Be Weird
by dontcryMasha
Summary: Mid Big Time Rocker. Carlos and James are hot for Lucy, but they can't BOTH have her, right?


Mid Big Time Rocker. Carlos and James want the new girl, but it would be weird if they both dated her, right? One-shot.

James and Carlos walked up to Lucy Stone's apartment door, grumbling and quarrelling all the way. James stuck out his hand to knock, but Carlos pushed him aside. "I wanna knock!" Carlos yelled. James butted him away.

"Nu-uh! Why should YOU? She's going to date ME. I'm _James Diamond_."

"Yeah but you don't have a totally sweet helmet."

James rolled his eyes. They ground their teeth at each other and knocked at the same time. Lucy opened the door and pretended to be surprised.

"Oh," she said calmly. "Hey guys. Why are uh, you here, hmm?"

"Here to ask you out," James said, trying to sound smooth. He winked at her and flashed his bright smile.

"No, actually you're going out with _me_!" Carlos said. He smacked his helmet.

"Hmmm, I dunno," Lucy said. She put her chin in her hand and looked up pensively. "I'd go out with both of you."

"Yeah well you can't," James said.

"Because we decided that would be weird!" Carlos added. He leaned over to James and whispered, "That would be weird, right?"

"Yes that would be weird," James whispered back.

"Oh, I don't think it's weird," Lucy said. The boys stared at her oddly. "Come on," she said. "Guys, I'm a rocker chick. I can take two guys. Tell you what, if you're up for the challenge, how about you both come back in an hour from now and see how it goes?"

They didn't respond. They sort of nodded.

"Give me some time to, you know," Lucy made a shaving motion to her crotch. "_Get ready_."

She shut the door. Carlos and James faced each other.

"That doesn't count as being gay, right?" Carlos asked nervously.

"No. No not at all," James said. "Two dudes banging one totally hot chick isn't gay. Just as long as they don't do anything gay. But banging a chick isn't gay, right?"

"Right!"

"So what's gay about two dudes doing it?"

"Nothing!"

"Are we going to do it?"

"YES!" Carlos grabbed James by the collar. "Didn't you hear her? She wants us! This might be our only chance to have her!" He let go and put his hands on his hips and stared into the distance with a swell of dignity. "We must."

James copied the pose. "For the good of mankind!" He added.

"Uhh. I thought maybe just to get laid?"

"That too."

-x-x-x-x-

One hour later, they promptly returned. Dressed their best (as if it mattered), Carlos and James stepped up to Lucy's door and knocked in unison.

"Not gay," James whispered.

"Not gay," Carlos agreed.

Lucy swung open the door and said, "I thought you'd be back. Why don'cha come on it?" She stepped back and let them enter. She led them straight to her bedroom.

"Soooooooo, ummm, how do we start?" James asked a bit nervously.

"Just like this," Lucy said. She went to the window and closed the curtains. They were black-out drapes, and most of the light left the room immediately.

"Do you get naked now?!" Carlos asked with a burst of enthusiasm.

"I thought you guys could first," Lucy suggested sexily.

"I am SO GOOD AT THIS!" James yelled. Like butter, he pulled off his t-shirt and slipped out of his pants. He leaned to Carlos and once more whispered, "Not gay!" then ripped off his own boxers. Lucy smiled. "Not bad," she said with a chuckle. "Carlos?"

"Awww come on!" Carlos whined. He pointed at James's massive hard on. "But it's soooo big!"

"Oh yeah," James said. "Oh yeah you know it!" He shimmed his fingers down the length of his cock. Lucy laughed.

Apprehensively, Carlos took off his shirt, his undershirt, his shorts, but stopped at his boxer briefs. "Maybe this is…" he began, but James glared him down.

"It's _not _gay, and it's _definitely _cool," James snapped.

"Okay okay okay!" Carlos shyly slid out of his underwear.

"Awww, it's not small," Lucy cooed. She got down on her knees and took Carlos's dick with her hand. She stroked it over a few times.

"Why's he get it first?!" James bleated. He ran behind Lucy and tapped her head. "Why's he get it first?!" He yelled again.

"Patience," Lucy said. She reached back and put her other hand on James's dick. His eyes rolled back in his head and he purred. Lucy was touching his cock! Sweet!

"When are you gonna get naked?" Carlos asked.

"I said _patience_," Lucy quipped. She slowly brought the two boys together, holding onto their dicks. They were so lost in her soft strokes, they didn't even realize that suddenly…Lucy had backed up, and their penises were only a few inches apart!

"Woah wait a minute," James said. "Isn't _this_ a little gay?"

"Hmmm?" Lucy hummed, looking up at James innocently. She leaned in, stuck her tongue out and flicker it over James's cock. He moaned and suddenly forgot all about it. Then she did the same to Carlos, which had a practically identical reaction.

Lucy smiled devilishly. She withdrew her tongue and slowly brought the boys closer to each other more. She kept jerking them off with both hands, swiping her thumbs across the tip of the heads, but soon made them touch. They didn't even notice. She rubbed their cock heads together.

"Mmm yeah," Lucy cooed. "That's fucking hot."

"What is?" James said, eyes closed.

"It's also…very gay."

"WHAT?!" Carlos and James both yelled. They opened their eyes and looked down. They shrieked in unison and backed up quickly, slipping out of Lucy's grip.

"DUDE! YOU DICK WAS…!" Carlos shouted.

"DON'T TELL ME! I SAW! OH GOD! OH GOD!" James screamed.

"AAAHH!" They both yelled.

Lucy sat there laughing. She pointed at them both and kept laughing. "You goons! You two goons!"

"What?" They both asked.

"The fuck did you expect?"

"You didn't want sex with us!" James screamed. "You just wanted us to gay out!"

"Ooooo," Lucy said. She put her finger to her lips. "Caught me!"

"ENOUGH! That's enough!" James yelled. He put his clothes back on, a little slower than he took them off. Carlos did the same. Embarrassed and infuriated, they left Lucy's apartment.

"I don't believe that!" Carlos said. He stomped down the hallway back to their crib.

"She probably just wants me, anyway," James said. Carlos shot daggers at him.

"Take that back!" He yelled.

"Nu-uh. 'Cause you know it's true."

Carlos made a huffy breath and put his hands in his pockets. James cleared his throat. "That wasn't gay, though, just for the record," he said.

"Of course not," Carlos agreed.

"Not unless we enjoyed it," James said quietly. "Which we didn't, right?"

"Noooo, not at all," Carlos protested. He shook his head side-to-side quickly. "That would be weird, right?"

"Yeah. Uh. Sure. Sure. We didn't enjoy it, because it would definitely be weird."


End file.
